


Trustworthy

by kuragay



Series: Natsume Week 2020 [4]
Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Revelations, Secrets, Tumblr: Natsume Week, Tumblr: Natsume Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25155829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuragay/pseuds/kuragay
Summary: Nishimura knows Natsume sees things others don’t. He’s sure their other friends can tell too, when Natsume jumps at nothing, when strange things happen around him, when he stands and talks to air, or when he jumps from a bridge to escape something chasing him that no one else notices. He knows Natsume believes full-heartedly that what he sees are real, and if Natsume’s willing to explain, Nishimura’s sure that he can believe that they’re real too.-Day 4: Secrets
Relationships: Natsume Takashi & Nishimura Satoru
Series: Natsume Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812550
Comments: 21
Kudos: 214





	Trustworthy

**Author's Note:**

> This is very late and very short. I have no excuses except that I wasn't in a writing mood, but enjoy anyway!!

Nishimura knows that Natsume hides things from them. He sees it when Natsume freezes, when Natsume wakes up ready to fight something, when Natsume shakes him and screams at him to leave while they’re walking home from school, only he’s not screaming at Nishimura. He’s screaming at something Nishimura can’t see.

“Leave my friends alone,” Natsume growls at Nishimura’s face in a voice he’s never heard from Natsume before. Without question, this is the most angry he thinks he’s ever seen Natsume. It reminds him of a moment, when they were on a trip with the school, and something eerily similar happened. Maybe Nishimura should be more scared than he is, but he finds himself oddly calm, and it’s probably because he trusts Natsume, and he knows Natsume would never hurt him. He’s had the pleasure of watching Natsume blossom under positive attention and care, and he knows Natsume’s been shunned and hurt in the past, so he stands, patient, and reaches a hand out to rest on Natsume’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and Natsume jerks violently, drawing back as if burned. He blinks, as if confused, then his eyes follow something away from Nishimura’s face and into the fields. His gaze lingers there, but when Nishimura looks, he finds nothing but tall grass and summer weeds. 

Natsume’s eyes jump back to Nishimura, and seems to shrink away, despite Nishimura trying his best to draw him nearer. “I’m so sorry,” he says, his aggression gone like it was never there, and in its place is fear. “I--”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.” Nishimura says softly, then hesitates. He knows Natsume sees things others don’t. He’s sure their other friends can tell too, when Natsume jumps at nothing, when strange things happen around him, when he stands and talks to air, or when he jumps from a bridge to escape something chasing him that no one else notices. He knows Natsume believes full-heartedly that what he sees are real, and if Natsume’s willing to explain, Nishimura’s sure that he can believe that they’re real too. “Is it...still there?”

Although he’s expecting the flinch, it doesn’t make it easier to watch, and Natsume’s eyes widen like Nishimura just tossed him to the sharks.

“...What?” Natsume says, voice hoarse. 

“Is the thing gone?” Nishimura tries again, doing his best to not let any of his anxiety seep into his expression.

He doesn’t know how deep Natsume’s trust in him extends, so he’s preparing himself for Natsume to flee like he always does, but Natsume surprises him by looking him in the eyes even though it looks like it’s hurting him to do so.

“It’s,” Natsume swallows, and if Nishimura didn’t know better, he would think Natsume was being forced to walk off a plank into the ocean. “It’s gone.”

“Ok.” Nishimura forces himself to nod like this is normal, but the smile that comes after is natural. “Thank you for telling me.”

Before, it looked like Natsume was shrinking in on himself, but he finally relaxes, his eyes large and--to Nishimura’s horror--a little wet.

“Hey, don’t--”

“Thank you.” Natsume cuts him off, then looks at the floor, his hair covering his expression. His voice is choked, and Nishimura thinks his heart is breaking. “Thank you so much.” Clutching his hands in front of his chest, Natsume bows, and Nishimura immediately puts his hands on Natsume’s shoulders.

“Woah! None of that.” he eases Natsume up. “We’re friends. You don’t have to bow. That’s way too formal.”

Then Natsume starts crying in earnest, and Nishimura has no idea what to do. The streets are practically empty, and it’s just the two of them. Kitamoto’s home sick, and Tanuma and Taki are still at school to help out a teacher, and really Nishimura just desperately wishes for someone to show him how to make this better.

He doesn’t understand Natsume--not really. He thought that he got all the important bits, but it turns out that he was wrong, and now he’s learning something that Natsume clearly doesn’t share easily and it’s caught him off guard.

Nishimura’s never been the best with words. For as long as he’s known, he’s shown his feelings through actions and gestures, so he does the only thing that comes naturally. He reaches around Natsume and hugs him tightly.

Natsume’s heartbeat is rapid, and he’s frozen for a bit, but then his head falls onto Nishimura’s shoulder and his arms wind around Nishimura’s back. He holds Nishimura gently, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to, and Nishimura isn’t sure how to communicate that it’s okay to do things like this with friends. It’s okay to act weird, to say weird things, and to hug each other. That’s what friends are for.

He thinks that Natsume didn’t have many friends, before.

Sometimes, when Natsume doesn’t know he’s being watched, his eyes fade out, and it’s like he’s stuck somewhere far, far away. In moments like those, Nishimura isn’t sure if he should say something, or if that would be overstepping his boundaries. He’s not Tanuma or Taki, who seem privy to information Natsume doesn’t share with anyone else, and he’s certainly not Natsume’s weird cat with sharp eyes that seem to follow Natsume’s every move. Nishimura does his best to let Natsume know that he doesn’t plan to leave, but Natsume doesn’t seem to realize how loved he is.

Even now, in Nishimura’s arms, Natsume shakes like he’s breaking apart at such a simple act of affection.

“I wouldn't judge you,” Nishimura says, and he makes sure Natsume is listening. “You would have to be stupid to think any of us would judge you for things you can’t control.”

Finally, Natsume seems to stop crying, and he lets his arms fall from Nishimura’s back. As they pull apart, Nishimura gives Natsume a quick whack on the shoulder, and Natsume startles before his lips break into a smile. 

“There are lots of things I think you should know,” Natsume says, but he doesn’t look at Nishimura. He turns to the side like it’s hard to hold eye contact, and Nishimura doesn’t bother calling him out on it. Sometimes, it’s easier to just let other people be comfortable. That’s what Kitamoto tells him, anyway, even though Nishimura wants to shake Natsume, wants to aggressively squeeze him until he knows his friends care.

“There are really, really strange things you should know, and you probably won’t believe me, but if you want to know, I trust you to know,” Natsume continues. 

Nishimura sighs. “Natsume, How long have I known you for now?”

Natsume turns to look at Nishimura, eyes wide. “Huh?”

“Over a year now. Almost two. You’ve got to be kidding if you think I won’t believe you. You’re a lot of things--you’re quiet when you want to be but also louder than people probably think. You’re kind, but you’re also a little mean, not that anyone would ever listen to me if I told them that. But,” Nishimura looks at Natsume, who’s looking at him return, and Nishimura says carefully, “you’re not a liar, Natsume. I trust you.”

He’s not ready for the pure expression of relief that crosses over Natsume’s face, so extraordinarily joyful that Nishimura’s completely blindsided. It’s maybe the kindest he’s ever seen Natsume’s face, and he’s seen plenty of Natsume’s kind faces. But he’s also seen Natsume’s fake smiles, and heard his fake laughs, and this smile right now is so completely different that he doesn’t know how he ever even fell for the fake ones.

He doesn’t know what he said to make Natsume so happy, but when Natsume lets Nishimura sling an arm over his shoulder and they make the rest of the short journey home, he finds he doesn’t care. All he did was tell the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading <3


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